relationships

Most people barely value relationships at all anymore. It’s always about material things now. And sure, they’re nice. Money is always nice to have, but honestly the only thing that really matters is a good solid relationship. When it comes right down to it, what else matters? Nothing. Not how many cars you have, the quality of your clothing, or how much money you’ve got in the bank. Material things can only make you happy for so long.
A relationship isn’t about what you can get from someone. It’s about what you share with them and the bond that you build. It's about relying on someone to care about you and help you out when you're struggling. If you haven't got anyone to depend on then I'd say that you're pretty bad off. I know that I've taken some of my relationships for granted and I feel terrible about it. Nothing as important as a bond with someone should be wasted. We have such little time on Earth to make our lives really matter, so every person we can share our lives with is important.
And because I was dumb about my friendships I would say that I was pretty bad off at one point myself. It took someone else throwing away my relationship with them for me to realize that I'd been doing it too.

I used to be really close with my dad and we would always hang out and talk about stuff, but once he met someone new, our life was never the same. I was happy for my dad because he hadn't been doing so great with relationships, so I embraced his new girlfriend and her family. I honestly felt like they could be a really great part of my life. It was after a little while that I realized my dad had been distancing himself from me. That he always chose to be with his girlfriend and her family instead of his own family. It really did hurt, but I felt like after the sparkle of the new relationship wore off that'd he come back to us and try to include us more. That didn't ever happen though. It was finally my birthday freshman year that did it. We always had a family dinner for people's birthdays at my grandma's house. My dad showed up ridiculously late. He had been at his girlfriend’s house with her and her family. It was then that I knew I had been replaced and that he no longer valued our relationship at all.

I think people are generally attracted to new! things. New clothes, new cars, new houses... new relationships. And when they're so caught up in their new things they don't appreciate all of the old things that they already have. All of the people they're leaving behind. I'm aware that it's good to make new friends, but when it results in completely forgetting about old friends... that's where the problem is.
It’s not only replacing a relationship that’s the problem. It’s completely abusing the friendship. It’s thinking that your friend will stick around no matter what you say or do to them. That is not the case. A person can only take so much. If you are actually friends with someone then you shouldn’t talk about them behind their backs.
It’s mean.
It’s dumb.
It’s careless.
It shouldn’t be up to you to judge them, because that isn’t what friendship is about. It’s not a competition to see who comes out to be the best person. It’s about being able to rely on each other for advice, conversation, love and support.
I’m not saying that I’ve never talked about somebody behind their back. I won’t deny it, but I realize that it’s wrong and I regret ever doing it. And I only bring this up because it seems that talking behind people’s backs is the biggest problem with high school girls these days. This is why I feel so blessed to have the friends that I do. I love that they don’t feel the need to say petty things about each other. That they are willing to give advice, conversation, love and support.

I will never take any of my relationships for granted ever again.

family

I got back from a kayaking trip today, but we were supposed to stay a few more days. My grumpy brothers wanted to leave early though. It was raining and apparently Billy seriously hates the rain. Which I went my whole life without knowing...
Anyway I guess this whole trip just made me realize what a lucky girl I am. I've been blessed with a truly great family. My brothers may -look- a little rough around the edges, but they have the biggest hearts around.
While we were getting through a particularly tricky log jam on the river Billy was trying to help me get my kayak up and over the logs, but he fell in. I could have easily gotten out to do it myself and fallen in, but he wanted me to be safe. It's a scary thing to fall in when you're on a log jam because the water is fast and the logs are tight together, but they roll if you try to get up on them. The ones on the Two Hearted River weren't dangerous like most others can be, they're just a little frightening. Basically, I could have done this myself and gotten a little scared. Maybe it doesn't sound like a big deal, but Billy didn't want me to have to be the least bit frightened and for some reason it just made a really big impression on me.
It was that moment that I realized that yes, he's my brother, but he doesn't have to care about me. Caring about someone isn't automatic. Just because we're family doesn't mean we have to like eachother. All a family really is is a bunch of people put together because they have the same genes. It takes effort to make them close, to get the bond that a -true- family really needs.
I LOVE my family. More than I could ever explain.

Actually. Nix a part of that. I love most of my family. You see, I've got a few different places where it just doesn't work out. And I know that I should probably love everyone, but obviously that is not the case. Take for instance, my step dad. He is probably the worst person I know. I'm not kidding and I won't go into detail, but he does not deserve my love OR my respect. He never will.
There are certain times when people are forced together. He may be my step dad, but the only feeling that I have for him is contempt. People don't care about eachother automatically. There might have been a time when my step dad was a decent person, but I really can't imagine when that could have been... Because for some reason it just seems like some people were just made to make life difficult and that's all my step dad has ever been.


My point is that I'm glad that there are some good people out there and that I'm lucky to have a few in my very own family.