I AM SO OVER BEING WALKED ON.
I've decided that it's just no longer my thing.
I'm not going to be a people pleaser anymore.
and by that I just mean that I am not about to apologize for things that I don't feel are my fault. as I said earlier today about this situation, "if you're gonna be mad at me. then be mad." I'll just let them get back to me when they decide to stop being a douche bag about the whole situation. I mean. if they're gonna be all pissy and a generally bad friend. whatever. I've already gone through this more times than any normal friend should have to. so. I know this seems like quitting when the going gets tough.
but I recently realized that the only reason these small tiffs exist is because the second party likes drama. like. really? who does that. they start these things because they want to be in a fight. they want the attention. they want the intensity. I don't want to be just a silly little relationship to this person. I'm not about to be something that they feel is okay to completely treat like crap. like an experiment.
that's no longer me.

this isn't like the "end of Kristy's niceness" or whatever. it's just the end of me bowing down to other people like it's my job. and it's not. I'm not getting paid. there aren't any benefits. it's just me getting all broken and upset because other people feel like it.
I am not that girl.

and I know it seems like I'm making a huge deal out of this, but it needs to be done.
it's like marking the end of an era. :P

...kind of.


anyway, this was nice.
I like ranting.
but hopefully I soon won't have to

I'll be the definition of chill. and so are all my friends.
so I guess. all of the fake ones best leave.
because I'm not about to break the chill again.